and modest.”īut marco has also accepted a lot of responsibility in his life (morphin’, grocery shopping) so he can’t just walk away from an old man getting mugged. “i’m not even average height for my age, although i make up for it by being incredibly cute. marco doesn’t want to get involved because marco believes in minding his own business, and all the punks are twice his size. (right! out! the! gate!) on his way home, he comes across an old man getting mugged by three punks. Marco’s walking home from the 7-11 because he’s in charge of grocery shopping ever since his mom died. don’t give away any personal information, kids. he also says he’s not going to swear that marco is his first name, which, good point. (my favorite characters.) he says his name is marco, and then he launches into this extended bit where he lists a bunch of last names that decidedly aren’t his, including mccain. what i like about these openings is that applegate takes every opportunity to illustrate how different these kids are, and right out of the gate, marco shows us that he’s the wisecracking sidekick with a deep, deep mother wound. also if i made t-shirts that said “yeerks don’t give a fuck about geese” would any of you wear them?) (i simply can’t do any research on animorphs merch, because i’m on unemployment and i have to save my money for ordering delivery, but if you come across any, please…please let me know.

also this book cover promises “COOL ANIMORPHS DECAL INSIDE” and my god, reader, do i wish i had a cool animorphs decal.

some do….” for me personally, but the animorphs game is young. nothing will top “some people never change. as far as taglines go, i think this is better than last week’s. i live for these threatening four-dot ellipsis.

Animorphs 5